Running lights across the ocean vast and lofty wishes dance in navy motions swift and free sweeping in empty erosions light and sweet filled with all the hidden emotions hopeless, carefree
Is there any way you could rearrange the lines a bit? I noticed that "vast and lofty" has the same syllables as "hopeless, carefree"; "swift and free" and "light and sweet" have the same amount. Maybe you did it on purpose, but I think if you switched them so it went 4, 3, 4, 3 instead of 4, 3, 3, 4, it would flow nicer. (:
Is there any way you could rearrange the lines a bit? I noticed that "vast and lofty" has the same syllables as "hopeless, carefree"; "swift and free" and "light and sweet" have the same amount. Maybe you did it on purpose, but I think if you switched them so it went 4, 3, 4, 3 instead of 4, 3, 3, 4, it would flow nicer. (:
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